I suppose the title of this post should really be “Responsibility and Guilt.”
You see, the rational part of my brain believes firmly that we did what needed to be done, and certainly what was best. Unfortunately, the emotional part of my brain is equally convinced that I deserve to die a thousand deaths (preferably by papercut) for “giving up” on a dog – especially my own dog – and let’s face it, when faced with equal amounts of guilt and almost any other emotion, guilt generally comes out on top.
To be clear, this was not a decision we made lightly. It was not a decision of convenience, as these decisions so often are. Quite the opposite, in fact.
The truth is, we made the decision to rehome Juno when it became clear to me that keeping her in this environment was the best decision for ME, not for HER. For Juno, the best move was one right out of here and into a pack she felt comfortable with.
Instead of living for the next 10-15 years with two dogs who despise the very sight of one another, Juno now lives with a wonderful family that adores her as much as we do. She has children to play with, a work-at-home dad and a mom she shadows in the evenings. She has both dogs and people in the neighbourhood she has made friends with, and frequently entertains visitors who come specifically to see Her Royal Junebug.
She doesn’t have to live in a world of management, leashes, tie outs, crates, baby gates, stress and tension. Asking her to do so would have been for me – so that I could see her, love her, snuggle her, play with her and enjoy her company every day.
Juno is not one of those dogs who is easily disturbed, rather she’s a rock-solid girl who tends to roll with the punches. This was never more true than when her new family came to pick her up. She recognized them immediately and had to be physically restrained from bounding head first into their car… she never looked back.
Today I received the above photo from her new family. She’s been with them for six weeks and the placement has seemed ideal from the very beginning. Doesn’t she look happy? The other dogs were noticeably relieved that she was gone, much more so than I expected, in fact.
So why do I still feel so horribly guilty?
Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive, helpful and informative over the last several months. It has been very appreciated, indeed. Hopefully I will be back to blogging again soon.